Hey Beautiful Family,
Last night as I was scrolling through social media, I had this overwhelming feeling go through me. I felt like something was missing. I was inspired by what I saw others doing, but also felt a longing for more for myself.
I attended Rhema Nights Chicago hosted by Joshua and Ryan Flewellen on this past Saturday and it was much needed!!! I received and was blessed by the entire experience. I know why I was prompted to go by the Holy Spirit and I’m so glad I obeyed. I needed that night 🔥🔥🔥
Yesterday, my pastor preached about The Gospel Mark and how his name means "A Large Hammer" and how this gospel is the Gospel of Action. He talked about intentionality.
That word…INTENTIONALITY 🥴 Haha, yeah it makes me feel like 🥴 sometimes because for such a long time I was NOT THAT. I would say maybe in the past 3 months up until my 30th it’s finally clicking…what it means to be intentional. What it means to focus. What it means to be purposeful. I’m LEARNING, I STILL MESS UP, and YES I AM GROWING.
It’s not easy. I experienced victim-mentality, shame, guilt, lack of identity, worth, confidence and so much more for such a long time. I blamed and had a right to. This wasn’t of my own doing. What happened to me from childhood all the way to my adult years became my identity. Trauma - physically and spiritually - tainted my perception of God, myself, and others.
Not gonna go into that whole story now, but in November 2017 (almost 4 years ago) I cried out to Jesus after over two decades of neglect, abuse, and the consequences of trauma. I repented (yes even as a victim), I humbled myself, and asked for His forgiveness. He heard me, He found me, and He saved me. He loved me despite me literally hating myself - I hated who I saw in the mirror, I hated who I was, and I hated being alive 😭 Eventually when the Lord started sharing glimpses of my purpose, I hated that too.
I look in the mirror (or camera 📸 😅) now and I am absolutely falling in love with Jesus and the work that He IS doing in me 😍 It definitely hasn’t been easy, but overtime I’ve learned to ask for His help and trust His process for me. I now have CHOICE and I have taken RESPONSIBILITY for my healing and OWNERSHIP for my life…ALL BECAUSE OF AND WITH CHRIST.
The Lord kept ministering to me to minister to others on Sunday praying at the altars…DO NOT DESPISE HUMBLE BEGINNINGS…one way to look at this is you will “mess up”, but it’s okay…YOU ARE LEARNING. TAKE NOTE. IMPLEMENT AND GROW‼️
SOOOO I come to this juncture in my journey and I’m taking a break from social media. I’m not sure exactly how long…but it’ll be some time and I know I need it. Social media has definitely been a blessing in my journey of healing and transformation. However, I sense God is up to something amazing and I’m here for it all 🙌🏾
So in between time:
✅ Save this website for my blog or other announcements
✅ Sign up for my email list here or at firstname.lastname@example.org
✅ Subscribe to my YouTube channel FanellElane
The above avenues are the only way you will be able to get info on what’s coming next…
Let us continue to increase our faith and heal together ❤️🩹